What a week it's been already!! I'm tired and I should really be in bed. I guess it takes a little while to unwind from the day of kids and keeping the house and family. Some of you don't know yet but I quit my job last week and I am officially a stay at home mom. Crazy!! It was a quick decision and it happened quickly too. It was definitely in God's hands and still is. He provided me with two children to care for in our home to supplement our income above and beyond what we were in need of. What a blessing to wake up in the morning and know that I don't have to take the girls to someone else's house and drop them off. I get to spend the day with them. It feels wonderful to know that......but, exhausting!! :)
That thought of being with them so much really got me thinking tonight. I was looking at some pictures of Avery Lynn and just soaking in how beautifully sweet she is. What a wonderful feeling to know that she is my little girl and I can pick her up and kiss her and love on her any time that I want to. I've found that it's such a true "lovely ache" to be a parent. By that I mean, the love we have for our children is so deep yet it's a tiny ache because we can't protect them from everything. We look at them with such a love that you just want to reach inside and hold their heart and protect it from the evil in the world, but we just can't. We can only pray that each and everything we do, to and for them is reaching inside and touching them in a powerful, positive way. At the end of the day, they have their own will and their own choices that they get to make and it is not in our hands as parents. How God must feel the same way about us.....but stronger. After all, we're HIS children. I can't imagine the pain he must feel when our hearts are not receptive to him. After the love and grace that he shows us continually and everlasting, yet we still assert our own wills more often than not and some people never even receive him at all.
With all of that being said...I wonder, did God make it this way to show us just a tiny glimpse of how very much he loves us? Was it a way for him to show us the ache that he feels inside by allowing us to make our own choices, knowing that we may not choose to follow him? In the end, it's such a beautiful thing. He has given us this awesome opportunity and responsibility to love, nurture, teach and disciple our children to find their way to eternity with Him. If only everyone saw it this way. Our children not only make up the future here on earth.....they should be what our lives are about. We're here to live as Christ's examples and honor, serve and follow the direction God has given us. Shouldn't our job as parents be seen as part of our purpose on earth? He gave them to us to bring back to him. What a task!!! It's a love and it's an ache!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Thoughts of our WONDERFUL God!!
I'm starting a blog to remain in touch and keep friends and family up to date on things that go on with our family. In thinking of how to begin my first entry....I don't think of our latest family news, or how Andie is almost crawling or how Avery woke up sick this morning.....again!!! I think of all of the blessings I've been given throughout my life and how grateful I am for our wonderful, merciful Creator.
My life has undergone some miraculous changes in the last several months since the birth of our second daughter. Through prayer and faith and friends, I've found that this God that I've known for most of my life is right next to me and surrounding me in every step I take and every breath that I breathe. He is the companion that I seek when I feel lonely. He is my deliverer when I feel weak and overtaken. He is my strength when I feel like I can bear no more and cannot go on. He is my hope that things will be brighter tomorrow and that this life he has graciously given me will truly end up glorifying Him. He is the wisdom I seek to teach my children and the patience and love that flows through me when I strive to be the best wife and help meet to my husband.
I suppose it was in the moment that I realized that my life is not my own, that I realized the depth and power of God's love. He truly is ALL around us. His Word sustains every single thing in the world....how amazing!! What an awesome, powerful God! We were created for Him. We are here to live FOR Him, to glorify Him, to honor Him, to make Him happy in the things we choose to do and say. Much like that strong desire to please and receive acceptance from our earthly father, God wants us to honor and serve Him....our Heavenly Father.
When I feel like I'm not quite good enough to be called His child and I've found myself wrapped up in the sin of the world, He's the one who continually forgives me....over and over and over again. When I feel guilty and unworthy or I feel that my sin is too great, he still forgives me. When I feel that my heart is so covered with deceit and my spirit is burdened with sinful thoughts and feelings....he washes me and lifts me up. Back in His loving arms I find myself. I am clean, forgiven and loved unconditionally. He takes away the feelings of distance and loneliness and helplessness....He restores the purity in my soul every time that I ask. It's amazing that that is all we have to do....just ask. Over the years in my life I've been caught up in feeling that as soon as I am forgiven I just go out and sin again and how can He possibly forgive me AGAIN?? But, recently I've accepted reality I've heard all my life...WE ARE SINNERS!!! How could I expect perfection from myself when it's impossible? My responsibility is to love Christ and do my best to honor and serve Him and keep His commandments and repent when I've sinned....over....and over....and over....and over. He keeps on forgiving me because He loves me! Through all of this realization I've come to know and deeply believe that I am worth everything to Him. I am loved and sought after and led by Him. No longer am I afraid that my sin is too great, my distance from Him has become too far or my guilt has overtaken me. He is still there, like He's always been my whole life. I just had to get over ME and focus on HIM!!
My life has undergone some miraculous changes in the last several months since the birth of our second daughter. Through prayer and faith and friends, I've found that this God that I've known for most of my life is right next to me and surrounding me in every step I take and every breath that I breathe. He is the companion that I seek when I feel lonely. He is my deliverer when I feel weak and overtaken. He is my strength when I feel like I can bear no more and cannot go on. He is my hope that things will be brighter tomorrow and that this life he has graciously given me will truly end up glorifying Him. He is the wisdom I seek to teach my children and the patience and love that flows through me when I strive to be the best wife and help meet to my husband.
I suppose it was in the moment that I realized that my life is not my own, that I realized the depth and power of God's love. He truly is ALL around us. His Word sustains every single thing in the world....how amazing!! What an awesome, powerful God! We were created for Him. We are here to live FOR Him, to glorify Him, to honor Him, to make Him happy in the things we choose to do and say. Much like that strong desire to please and receive acceptance from our earthly father, God wants us to honor and serve Him....our Heavenly Father.
When I feel like I'm not quite good enough to be called His child and I've found myself wrapped up in the sin of the world, He's the one who continually forgives me....over and over and over again. When I feel guilty and unworthy or I feel that my sin is too great, he still forgives me. When I feel that my heart is so covered with deceit and my spirit is burdened with sinful thoughts and feelings....he washes me and lifts me up. Back in His loving arms I find myself. I am clean, forgiven and loved unconditionally. He takes away the feelings of distance and loneliness and helplessness....He restores the purity in my soul every time that I ask. It's amazing that that is all we have to do....just ask. Over the years in my life I've been caught up in feeling that as soon as I am forgiven I just go out and sin again and how can He possibly forgive me AGAIN?? But, recently I've accepted reality I've heard all my life...WE ARE SINNERS!!! How could I expect perfection from myself when it's impossible? My responsibility is to love Christ and do my best to honor and serve Him and keep His commandments and repent when I've sinned....over....and over....and over....and over. He keeps on forgiving me because He loves me! Through all of this realization I've come to know and deeply believe that I am worth everything to Him. I am loved and sought after and led by Him. No longer am I afraid that my sin is too great, my distance from Him has become too far or my guilt has overtaken me. He is still there, like He's always been my whole life. I just had to get over ME and focus on HIM!!
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